Broken
by Sapphire Sunsets
Summary: It's been a year since the night that no one will ever forget. The nine mourners come back to the mountain, hoping to find peace, but are met with much worse. In this tale interweaving their pasts with the present, it isn't just external demons they must battle. And even if they survive, will they ever be the same?
1. Prologue

_Quickly, before I begin: I do not own anything that isn't mine. Simple enough. Enjoy!_

Prologue

In the near darkness of the damp basement, we sat on the floor waiting. Our eyes had adjusted to the low light, so we could all see each other trying to stay sane. It was so cold, I think most of us were choosing to focus on that struggle, instead of the larger one around us. Tackle the smaller problems. Choose to acknowledge what you know you can handle. There was no rush. The time would be upon us eventually.

This twisted night had left us with little comfort, but for the moment, we at least still had each other. Nine humans, broken and hurting, pushed beyond the imaginable. Everything that had preceded the past six hours seemed to fade, and more than anything, we were just a group of people in need of each other. Jaded from before, but devoured by this godforsaken night. We knew that this was only the eye of the storm. The silence was almost louder than the chaos earlier. But still, we remained sitting together, holding hands, trying to comfort each other when there was nothing left to give. A silent symbol of our forgiveness, even if temporary. We grasped each other, biding our time before the time to strike.

Our minds were quiet, and though they were numb from the overwhelming night, most of the quiet came from our own suppression. The fear, the anger, the sorrow… None of it was allowed inside. We all needed each other, and we needed each other strong.

A tear managed to escape my eye and began to silently roll down my cheek. From my side, Josh looked over at me, and let go of Chris's hand to wipe it away. Moving his hand from my face, he took my hand in both of his and squeezed, placing his forehead against mine. I closed my eyes. I felt the intensity of the silence overwhelm my senses, and suddenly everything was so loud, but I forced myself to concentrate on Josh's hands, and with nearly everything I had left, I pushed away the fear.

The little light hitting my closed eyes suddenly disappeared, and when I opened my eyes, I saw that everyone had moved from their places in the circle to surround me. Silently, we all encompassed each other in a hug, holding each other to keep the pieces from falling apart.

After what felt like forever had passed, we all slowly moved apart, untangling our limbs, with a new resolve in our eyes. And just like that, there was a noise from above. The creaking of a floorboard. Mike's head turned at the speed of a bullet, and without a sound, ran to where the trapdoor was, peeking up through the cracks in the wood. Lowering his head, he nodded solemnly, and a few of us nodded in return. It was time.

I checked my pockets, the picture and keychain still in one, my dead cell phone in the other. Josh rolled up his sleeves. Jessica was nodding to herself, most likely reassuring herself that she could do this. Sam's gaze was steely, knowing exactly what would come and what she needed to do. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Chris wipe his glasses clean, and Ashley gave him a small smile. Emily pushed her hair back behind her ears. Matt shook out his arms. Mike moved his hand to the back of his pants, checking for the gun, not for its usefulness, but as his security blanket.

And after we all did what we could for ourselves, we looked up, sharing glances with everyone gathered around in this clump of bodies. Each pair of eyes I met were stronger than I had ever seen them.

They were here. Above us. But were here too. And they had no idea what was coming for them. _You know what the funny thing about broken pieces is?_ I thought to myself. _That enough of them together make a whole._

* * *

 _Hi everyone!_

 _So essentially, this fic is going to be an exploration of each character—their strengths and shortcomings, and what makes them who they are. I love the characters in this game so much, but I feel that for some, the game makes them seem one way, and I'd like to explore both sides of everyone. I've added another character in an attempt for new perspectives and an additional view into the lives of the established characters we already love._

 _I hope you join me in this endeavor to feature all the sides of these characters and hopefully this will bring you closer to them with a new, different appreciation. Thanks everyone, and let me know what you think!_


	2. Chapter 2 (Abigail)

Chapter One:

 _January 9th, 2014_

 _"You're the worst!" Beth yelled as rap music began to spill out of the car's speakers. I had hijacked her calm indie music and replaced it with the one genre I knew she hated most. She turned her body around in the passenger seat and used both hands to shove my legs. Since this was one of the six songs I had been forced to listen to on repeat this week, I began (very poorly) rapping. Beth groaned, and I knew her well enough to know that she was definitely rolling her eyes._

 _Josh, the reason I knew this song to being with, yelled from the driver's seat, "daaamn girl!" After whistling, he flawlessly joined in with me, surpassing my rap skills by far. Once the song had gotten to the bridge, the heavy bass and ever increasing profanities were replaced with a tamer guitar riff and a woman's soothing voice._

 _"That is enough of that!" Beth laughed and stuck her tongue out at me. "I swear, you both are insufferable." Josh and I simply laughed in response. While I was smiling at the back of Josh's head, he met my gaze in the rearview mirror, and with a smirk, he winked at me. Luckily, he turned his attention back to the road before my face went bright red._

 _My phone vibrated on the seat next to me, and it lit up, showing that I had a new message from Beth:_ calm down, we're not even at the house yet. god. :P

 _Beth had been my best friend for forever (okay, not actually_ forever _, but ten years is a long time) and she liked to argue that she knew me better than I knew myself. Which is precisely why she called me out on my crush on Josh before I ever even admitted it to myself. Even though Beth, Hannah, Sam and I were essentially all sisters, Josh and I had always been thick as thieves. Ever since the day in seventh grade when Hannah had gotten bullied in the playground down the street from our houses, and Beth had sent me and Josh a text saying they needed help. I suppose it was our intense protectiveness that bonded us. Well, at the beginning anyway._

 _I responded:_ oh hush! _and put my phone back down on the seat. The wind from the cracked open windows was icy but refreshing to my blushing face. The air was so sharp, it was almost revitalizing. As if you hadn't even realized you needed that breath in the first place. The higher we drove, the thinner the air became, but the more rambunctious we grew. Winter break of our first year of college! As Blackwood Mountain slowly became a larger presence in front of us, all I could feel was excitement. It was overwhelming._

 _I never thought that deep behind the excitement should have laid a twinge of fear._

Last year hung in the air above us, weighing down our shoulders, our eyelids, our thoughts, and our emotions. It was heavy, to pretend that everything was okay. With me, with my situation, with the past, with the present. Life had become so exhausting. God, how much I would give for things to be different.

But there was no going back.

Sam sat across the aisle from me, as slouched in the seat as I was and as exhausted as I felt. We had started the trip exchanging pleasantries, and when it became evident that the two of us just wanted to use this bus ride to nap, that's what we decided to do. Sam and I had aired everything last night. We knew that this trip would be rough, and we met up at Sam's house to actually talk about it. The first time we had done that in… Well, in a while.

When she noticed I had woken up, she smiled. But not a happy Sam smile. Her eyes were still solemn. A weird part of me was happy that Sam was being real with me again, even though I knew our masks would come on again once we arrived. Part of me believed that once the rest of the gang was together, I would be okay. It was a whole mess of crazy and uncomfortable dynamics, but hopefully it'd be back to old times.

"You look lost again." Sam spoke, rousing me from my internal reverie. I let out a half-hearted laugh that was more like a release of air than anything else. She was still smiling her same tired smile.

"A little bit." I confessed. A thought lingered on my tongue. Before analysis paralysis set in, I let the words tumble out. "I think I'm ready to try to be happy again." While they floated around in my brain, I was skeptical. But the moment they became words, the air felt a little lighter around me. Maybe it was truer than I thought.

"Well, you know, you are allowed to be happy." Sam assured me. "We all move on at different speeds. And who knows, maybe this weekend will actually be what we all need." A twinkle appeared in her eye, just for a second. Like she had managed to successfully convince herself of that. Even if only for a second, there was hope.

"Then I guess there's only one thing to do." I told her, one side of my mouth twisting into a smirk. Sam looked at me hesitantly and cocked her head to the side. A smile was fighting its way onto her mouth. "Let's party like we're fucking porn stars!" I yelled, raising an invisible glass, mimicking Josh's voice to a tee.

After a moment of an _oh-boy-Abigail's-back_ look, she let down her guard and laughed— _laughed_ —heartily. "Alright, alright." She nodded and grabbed her backpack from beside her. "Get ready, we should be here soon."

I looked out the window. The sun was setting on the mountains, throwing a rainbow of colors on the snow that coated all the immense pine trees. If you squinted and knew precisely where to look, you could make out that big hotel-slash-something building by the top, but even the house was hiding amongst its environment. "Sam, how do you do that?" I asked, half joking, while I pulled my backpack from its seat to the vacant spot directly next to my leg. "Do you just have a sixth mom sense?"

"Of course." She nodded, and I noticed I had managed to keep up her real smile. Balancing herself on the seat with her leg, she pulled out her fluffy lumberjack hat from one of her backpack pockets. As she smushed it on her head, a brief memory flashed through my mind of Hannah's face when Sam opened it. It had been one of Sam's birthday gifts a few years ago. There was always a sparkle in Hannah's eyes each time Sam would wear it.

Slowly, the bus came to a stop, and Sam and I smiled reassuringly at each other. After filling my lungs with a deep breath, I took the first step forward. The breeze struck me before I had even gotten off, making me think I should've worn an extra layer, and for a brief moment I considered turning back and refusing to get off the bus. But I pushed forward, and stepped off the bus onto the mountain.

The forest was overwhelming. The trees were so tall and thick, and the snow was everywhere, coating both the ground and the branches. And right in the middle of the mess was the gate. Blackwood Pines. A rush of emotions flooded back into my gut.

" _Blackwood Pines!" Josh yelled as he pulled the car through the gate. Beth and I cheered in response. He drove over to the small parking area, and turned the car off. "Let's goooo!" Josh threw his hands in the air. Beth just chuckled and got out of the car._

 _When I stepped out, the wind was knocked out of me. Of course the forest was beautiful from the car, but actually standing in it and admiring it from so close was nearly intoxicating. My God, it was beautiful. The pine trees, so dark and evergreen, with snow lining the branches and thistles. And the sunlight reflecting on the snow, bouncing light everywhere. A squirrel jumped from one tree to another, eventually crawling up to the canopy of branches and disappearing. I could hear Josh and Beth saying something, but the words were drowned out by the beauty, fading away into nothing._

" _It's beautiful, isn't it?" Josh's voice appeared next to my ear, whispering softly, not trying to scare me. Just make sure I knew he was there with me. I couldn't muster up any words, and just nodded dumbly in response. "You know…" He began, turning his attention from the scenery back to me. His lips were centimeters from my ear, and it was all I could do to keep from melting into a puddle in the snow. "Kinda reminds me of someone I know."_

 _And like a whisper in the wind, he was gone. It was times like these when I knew Josh was real. Whatever anyone else said, I knew who he was. Quite possibly more than anyone else but Chris. A rush of energy travelled through my whole body, lingering in my stomach. I bit my finger and turned around to see if the two Washingtons were around. Beth was halfway to what appeared to be the cable car_ (cable car?!) _and Josh had already pulled my suitcase from the car, set it aside, and grabbed his own. Not one to pass up on an opportunity, he winked at me again and grinned like a fool. Shaking my head, and still unable to subdue my giddy smile, I walked to my suitcase, and pulled it along to where Beth and Josh were already waiting._

Sam squeezed my hand. "Hey." She turned her head to make sure I was paying attention to her. Her eyes were sincere and pleading. This was important. "I need you to promise me something." I nodded. "I know you'll be lost. That's okay. Just don't forget to live." My heart hurt, but I nodded again, silently complying.

"But you have to promise me something too." I responded, and squeezed her hand in mine. "Don't be a hero. It's okay not to be okay. We're all struggling. You can talk to us." Sam nodded. That was enough. If nothing else, the two of us had each other. One person on your side was always a lot better than fighting a war alone. But honestly, it wasn't Sam I was worried most about.

I was worried about Josh.

"C'mon!" Sam smiled. "Let's go back to being porn stars!" And just like that, we were back. Both of us. Two normal college girls spending a normal weekend with a bunch of other normal college girls and normal college boys in a normal rich friend's parent's mansion. No classes, no family, no problems. _Maybe I should be an actress._

A gust of wind blew past, and I heard the sound of paper rattling. Turning my head to find the source of the noise, I realized there was a piece of paper taped to the gate. _Gate's busted, climb over!_ Figures. The Coordination Queen has to ascend the gate. Sam read the note and then looked at me. "Hah!" She laughed. "Chris _did_ know you were coming, right?"

"Oh, hush!" I yelled, and nudged her with my shoulder. Sam looked at the stone wall on either side of the gate. "Alright." I clapped my hands and gestured to the wall. "Let's go, Miss Rock Climber! Show me how it's done!"

"Yes, ma'am." Sam smiled sweetly, and headed over to the gate. After hesitating only a second, she jumped up to grab a brick that was sticking out of the wall. Her feet found footholds, and a look of determination flew across her face. In another second, she had propelled herself higher once more, and gripped onto a rock near the top. With ease, she swung her legs up and pulled herself on top of the wall, standing proudly. With a curtsy, she proclaimed, "your move!" Another second later, she had jumped off the wall, landing on the other side with a thump and a laugh.

Alone on the outside of the gate, all of a sudden, I felt scared. Not exactly like I was being watched, but like I was hyper aware of anything with a pulse around me. My senses were on edge. That was enough to compel me forward. I took the safe route, making sure each of my limbs were securely fastened to bricks. My right leg left its place, and searched for another home. I shifted my weight onto my right leg, but all of a sudden my foot slipped from the wall. My hands grasped at the bricks, but it was too late, and I fell back down to the ground, stumbling. "Shit." I muttered. I waited for a snarky remark from Sam, but she was silent. Between that, and the feeling still in my gut, I headed directly back to the wall.

Bracing myself, I found my original foot holds, and instead of searching for another one, I jumped, trusting my arms to pull me to safety. Incredulously, my hands met the perfect brick, and I was able to squeeze my feet onto the wall long enough to reach up and swing my legs over. Though I was much less graceful than Sam, I managed to pull myself up onto the wall. "Hah!" I yelled, raising my hands above my head. "I guess you should've had more faith…" My words caught in my throat as I looked down.

I wasn't ready. I hadn't prepared myself for this moment. I was expecting it later. I thought he had gotten here earlier to prepare. Why was he back here? And why was he looking at me like that? Nausea swelled inside me, and all of a sudden, I was up way too high. Carefully, I crouched down and very ungracefully jumped onto the ground, where I fumbled and reached back to the wall for support.

"Whoa." Josh spoke, coming over with an arm extended to keep me from toppling over. "You never were one for balance, were you?"

I righted myself without his aid. My stomach had lurched up to my throat. Words were failing me. My compass was gone. What was even happening right now? _Calm down._ He wasn't being awkward, why did I have to be awkward? _Say something! Literally anything will make this better right now._ "Uh… Hi."

 _Ugh._

 _It was getting late. The gang had been drinking and dancing in the living room, but slowly people began splitting apart and hanging out. Chris had gotten a little too nervous (probably about Ashley) and drunk himself into a stupor. He was passed out on the kitchen counter. Josh was surprisingly tame tonight, only moderately drunk instead of his typical Chris level. Jess, Mike, and Emily were all off whispering in a corner. Ashley and Matt were in the kitchen laughing at Chris. Sam and Hannah had headed off upstairs somewhere, and Beth was being the responsible one, starting to clean up all the alcohol bottles and plastic cups in the kitchen. Josh had vanished somewhere. I just felt tired._

 _It was really late—I wasn't even sure how late it was—and I knew that the night would wind down quickly, if I could just push through for maybe another hour. I put down my cup (which I had been holding all night, but not actually drinking from) and walked over to the bathroom. The room was a little smelly, but I closed the door, grateful for the private time. I turned on the faucet and splashed water on my face. My reflection was staring back at me in the mirror._

 _For some reason, I had gotten in my own head tonight, and it was a little less fun than I had imagined. For hours, Josh had been staring at me. And then I would get flustered, which only made him smile. I had thought… No, it didn't matter. He was a flirt, and that was it. I guess. I used my sleeve to wipe my face, and took a deep breath. I was fine, I had Beth. Nothing like your best friend makes a weird night better._

 _But then everything changed. When I opened the door, Josh was leaning on the doorway. I nearly jumped out of my skin. "God!" I yelled. "Don't do that, you scared me half to death!" I slapped his arm. He just smiled._

" _C'mon." Josh said softly, a smirk playing on his lips. "Let's go upstairs." He slowly bent down to me, placing a soft and slow kiss on my neck. My insides felt like they were melting out of my toes._

 _Hardly even waiting for a response, he grabbed my hand and tugged me out of the bathroom._

"Alright, Josh." Sam said, saving me. "You wanted to grab something from your car, right? So we'll meet you up at the house?" She had turned Josh's attention from me, and gave me some time to recover. Slowly my internal organs began to make their way back to their proper positions. I released a breath I hadn't realized I was holding.

"Yeah, I'll see you guys up there." Josh responded. He knew I was a fit of nerves, but I guess he just assumed we could figure it out later. I did want to. But he knew me. How easily overwhelmed I get. "Sam." He waved. "Abby." He smiled sweetly. An olive branch.

I think I might have mustered up a "bye," but Sam had sheep herded me away before I had a chance to think. My legs didn't need a command, they just began to walk. Which was good, because my head was somewhere completely different.

 _Josh threw me down on the bed. I barely had time to take a breath before he descended upon me, shoving his body against mine. His lips were warm and his kisses were rough and rushed. My limbs were tingling, and as he grinded his pelvis into mine, I gasped, and he moved his lips from my lips to my jawline. His furious kisses drifted down to my neck, where he lingered, before heading down to my collarbone. His hips never faltered. I stifled a groan, afraid that someone else might hear us._

 _I lifted his chin with my hand, and shoved his mouth back against mine, now proactively moving my body underneath his. I felt him smiling into the kiss. With one hand, he grabbed my head, pushing my face against his. My hands wandered, eventually ending on his back, where even underneath his sweater, I could feel his muscles._

 _His hands slowly crept to the hem of my shirt, but somehow past the thumping in my ears and the squeaking of the bed, I heard someone yelling. I put my hands on his chest and backed my face away from his. "Wait." I stammered, out of breath._

 _Josh stopped and pushed himself back without hesitation. "I'm so sorry, are you okay?" His eyes were wide and frightened._

" _I'm okay. I thought I…" I paused and listened to the silence, searching for a noise, for someone else's voice. I probably should've waited a few seconds longer, but my body made an executive decision, and I boldly kissed him. He smiled, and before I could pull back, he placed his hand on the back of my head and pulled me forward into another kiss._

 _I grasped his sweater in my hands, and tugged it upward, exposing his abs. Before long, his hands left my head and I felt them brush mine as he pulled his sweater over his head in one fluid motion. His chest glistened in the moonlight shining in from the window, and I ran my hands down his chest, feeling the rigidity of his muscles. He was hot. I hadn't realized how physically attracted to him I really was. I could barely breathe._

 _A second later I felt the cold on my stomach, and I lifted my arms as he quickly removed my own shirt. His lips barely left mine. He leaned back towards me as our skin brushed against each other. Heat radiated from each of our bodies, and even in the cold, we were burning up. When his hands began exploring the freshly uncovered territory, there was a loud noise._

 _Slowly, we pulled away from each other, listening for something else. It had sounded like a door slamming, but as long as everything was okay… But then a voice. Someone was screaming Hannah's name. There was a rush of footsteps of people running down the stairs. "Shit!" Josh yelled, untangling his limbs and pushing himself off the bed. The two of us scrambled to grab our discarded clothes and shoes, but by the time we had ran downstairs, Hannah was gone. "What happened?!" I yelled._

" _Hannah ran off, Beth went after her." Sam said, shivering._

" _It was just a prank!" Emily yelled, obviously hoping Hannah and Beth would hear her._

" _Yeah, a dumb one! They're gone now!" Sam's switch flipped and she was fuming. Normally I would've pulled her away and calmed her down, but this was the Washingtons._

 _Josh took off running. "Hannah!" He screamed into the dark night. "Beth!" Without his coat, he would surely freeze in a manner of minutes. No way was I losing three Washingtons in one night._

 _I didn't think. I ran._

When we had gotten far enough away from the gate, Sam gently reached for my arm. "Just take a deep breath, okay?" I followed her advice. "He obviously feels bad about what happened. Everything is going to be okay." I nodded and looked everywhere except in Sam's eyes.

"I know." I muttered, and repeated it to myself. Josh and I will talk, and we'll make up and everything will be fine. We'll just go back to being normal and maybe forget about last time we were here. _Has he really forgotten already?_ My heart hurt. I just wanted Josh back. "By the end of the weekend, everything will go back to normal and everyone will be okay." Sam smiled reassuringly at me.

Boy, how we were wrong.

 _A/N: Hi guys! Hope y'all enjoyed this chapter. Leave me some feedback! Lemme know what you think! I should be writing from Josh's perspective next time, so that should be fun, amirite? Thanks for reading and hopefully for the feedback!_


	3. Chapter 3 (Josh)

Chapter Two:

 _January 10th, 2014_

 _Adrenaline coursed through my veins. My muscles ached, but it was like I couldn't even register the pain. I kept running, following the footprints in the snow. There were two tracks, though one appeared and disappeared. I assumed the persistent one was Beth doing her best to find Hannah._

 _The thought of them gave me another push forward as my legs carried me as fast as I could possibly go. The icy wind whipped past my ears, numbing my hands and nose. Between the wind and the thumping in my ears, I barely even heard that someone was trying to catch up. Not that it would've mattered. I was going to find my sisters. Then we'd sort out whatever happened._

 _The thought crossed my mind that maybe this was too much and I was too worried. But I didn't know what happened to Hannah and how long she'd been gone. I trusted her and Beth back home, but I had gone hunting with dad in these woods. The moose could be touchy. It didn't take much for them to charge. And if Hannah had accidentally wandered into their territory… I kept pushing forward._

 _Suddenly the path split. I approached too quickly and hadn't figured out which way to go. My momentum nearly drove me into a tree. I stretched out my hands in time to cushion my stop. The bark cut into my palms. My chest heaved, and I wasted no time examining the two paths. The one that drifted off to the left had tracks, but was darker and windier. The one on the right was a lot lighter and a straighter shot, but the snow looked relatively untouched._

 _Someone shouted "Josh!" from behind. It sounded like Abby. She came barreling down the trail, visibly tired. "Josh!" She was panting. "Slow down. Let's do this calmly."_

" _I'm not losing my sisters. I'm going left." Probably shouldn't have been so brusque. It didn't seem to matter much though, because she followed. Sometimes she was so predictable. If she was anything, she was protective. And so we ran. And kept running. The slightest shred of doubt slipped into my mind._ Had we gone too far? Maybe they had strayed off the path… _I snapped to my senses._ No. Anyone you love should always come first. _Especially if something had—_

" _Fuck!" There was a shooting pain in my ankle seconds before my body smashed into the ground. A guttural scream escaped my throat. My ankle was throbbing, my head felt like it was exploding from the impact of the ground, and the snow was beginning to soak through my clothes, freezing my entire body. Everything was freezing and burning and all I could do was yell._

 _All of a sudden Abby was beside me. "JOSH!" She screamed and fell to her knees. "What happened?!" I was glad she didn't ask if I was okay. Guess that was obvious enough._

" _My ankle. I think it's broken." The shock had worn off, and very slowly I tried to sit up, though moving my right leg was near impossible. Abby's eyes were as concerned as I had ever seen them, and her curls were falling out of her braid, wildly blowing in the wind. Somehow this was comforting._

" _We have to get you back. You'll be no help for your sisters if you catch hypothermia." She stood up and braced herself. Her palms were held out expectantly. Like she could pull me up._

" _There's no way. I can't walk." I repositioned my hips in the snow and had to bite my lip from screaming something offensive. "I'm too heavy."_

" _I can do this!" Abby yelled, most likely to reassure herself. I opened my mouth to protest, but she stood strong. "_ No! _" Her face was determined. Despite her strong exterior, she was shaking out her arms, which I knew was one of her nervous tics. "I can do this! Now give me your hands!" She held out her own hands. They were red and shaking from the cold. But I trusted her._

 _My faith wavered after she nearly buckled from my weight, but she was able to support me once I had gotten my arm around her shoulder. My ankle burned, but I held on. Slowly we moved down the trail back toward the house, like two wounded animals. After a few minutes, I peeked at Abby. I had never seen her look more determined. There was a burning behind her eyes, and her lips were drawn tight, focused on getting me to safety. There were more curls loose from her braid, framing her beautiful pale face. A little while ago, my extremities would not have been so cold._

 _Sooner than we thought, we met the police on the trail. They handed us both coats and shepherded us into the house, sitting us in front of the fireplace that someone had lit. Despite the heat of the fire, my limbs were still numb, and Abby sat beside me, her body curled up to mine, trying desperately to feel warm and safe again._

 _I kept telling myself we had to go back. That I couldn't have kept going. That Abby was right, and this was the best decision. The police would find them, and they'd be okay, and we'd all get grounded for an eternity, even though we were all adults. Our parents would never trust any of us again, but we'd be okay and together and safe. Otherwise…_

No. No otherwise. We were going to be okay. _One more time and I'd believe myself._

 _All of a sudden, Abby shivered, the motion racking her entire body. I unwrapped one of my arms from myself, and wrapped it around her, bringing my blanket with it. She snuggled her face into my chest. All I could do was hold her tight. The only thing that I could hold onto._

Lying is a strange thing. You think you have a hold on it. That you've finally mastered the art of deception—left no trace of an alternate possibility, ruled out all possible feelings of guilt—then it backfires. You feel the person you've damaged. The people you will damage. A brief moment passes when you wonder if you shouldn't have lied. But you know it doesn't matter. You've already done it. Admission could only cause more hurt. So you play your psychological games and convince yourself that it's okay. That one lie won't be the end of the world, and certainly won't lead to more and more and more. And that everyone will forgive you. Since, after all, it's just one lie. _Just one lie._

 _Just one lie._ I lied to Chris. _Just one lie._ I didn't forget my charger in the car. I had forgotten my overalls. And I hadn't forgotten them accidentally. I left them there. I wanted to see her. If she was okay, if she was with Sam, if she had even actually stuck true to her word.

I had told Chris if he ran into them, that they shouldn't wait for me, and I'm sure since Sam was with her, they wouldn't. She needed time to calm down. As soon as she had looked down at me from the wall, I knew I had caught her off guard. Her emotions were always written on her face. It made her genuine. It was hard for her to keep secrets. Unlike me. Lies, lies, lies. _Just one lie._ That's all I am nowadays. I'm always afraid that she'll find out the truth. If anyone did, it would be her. She could be too perceptive for her own good.

She was right to be worried about this weekend. Her words echoed through my mind. "Maybe I don't want to go back!" Of course it was upsetting to hear, but I knew that she—and most people—don't grieve like I do. "You're not the only one hurting, Josh!" Like I couldn't see that she was hurting. I just… I needed her with me. She had to be there. Maybe after this… We could get to where we really belong. Maybe I could make her happy again. If she could just pull through this…

Hopefully she knew how I felt. We always felt like extensions of each other. When I was falling apart, she would piece me back together. She was always my rock. And those times when she began to fall through the cracks, I would fight to keep her okay. We would struggle with ourselves, but we knew we always had each other.

This was the first time we had left an argument on unsteady ground. Part of me believed that we'd be okay, but the other part of me wished I had just apologized and told her how I feel. I knew this weekend was going to change things. All I could do now was hope that she would be able to forgive me.

And then there was everyone else… _Just one lie_.

 _March 7th, 2014_

" _Hey, man." Chris greeted me as he slid into the seat across the small, slightly sticky table. It was weird for us to be meeting at a mall and not one of our old spots, but I felt like I wanted to meet with Chris on neutral turf. We weren't who we used to be._

" _Hey." I nodded in acknowledgement. As I grabbed a fry, Chris reached over and took two from my container. An echo of old times. A wave of nostalgia crashed through me. I pushed it away._

" _So Ash says Emily and Mike are on the rocks." Chris offered, trying to begin some conversation to feel out where I was today. It was obvious Ashley hadn't only told him about the Alpha Couple. Ashley had told him about what happened when I saw her last. And knowing that, I was sure that was the only reason he wanted to see me. Damage control. Mop up the collateral. Maybe they had cared at one point, but now we were all just shadows of who we were. I grunted and took a bite out of my burger._

" _She also mentioned that she saw you the other day…" Chris began slowly, trying to be casual but forgetting about his classic_ I'm-analyzing-the-situation _look. He scooched himself forward in his seat, like he was some therapist, trying to get closer to me._

" _And you're here to clean up her mess like a good little boyfriend?"_ Oof. _Alright, maybe that one was a little below the belt. My mask was starting to infiltrate my thoughts and actions. Or...was this who I was now?_

 _Chris's temper flared for a moment. "Look, I'm not—" A pause. A deep breath. "I'm here because I care about you." He was always a great mediator. He knew what to say and you always knew he cared because, well, he was Chris. That's what he did. Maybe that's why the universe threw Chris at me. Abby too, for that matter. I needed a friend. "We're worried about you, bro."_

 _My emotions grew tenfold. My stomach felt like fire. And suddenly, I had pushed my fries away from me. "Fuck off!" The words fell out of my mouth before I could calm down. My limbs were pulsing and I felt like I needed to punch something. "You don't care anymore until you're worried,_ bro. _" I spat the last word, throwing it back in his face. "Don't act like we're best friends! Abby's the only one who cares, and she's just as fucked up as I am!"_

" _Josh, please—"_

"NO! _" I stood up, nearly toppling the chair over behind me. The food court went quiet. The sound of the ambient noise was overwhelming. I felt everyone staring at me, wanting to see what I was going to do. The pulsing was still there, but I clenched my fists and forced myself to breathe. "Please." I muttered quietly. "I don't want to be handled. Don't act like you care if you don't." Silently, I left the mall, walking directly to my car, where I slammed my key into the ignition and drove back home._

All of a sudden, I was transported out of my memory and into the present. Jolted by the cold, but also by a prickling on my palm. Somehow I had crawled into the backseat of my car and curled up in the fetal position, clutching onto Abby's necklace. She had left it a week ago at my apartment, and I had meant to give it to her two nights ago but— _"God you can be such a piece of shit sometimes!"_

Slowly I uncurled my body, which was sore from the fetal position in the cramped car. I must have been there a while. I wrapped my arms around my torso, both because of the cold and for some comfort. If nothing else, hurting Abby killed me. A lot more than expected. I could shut out everyone else but her. I always felt her pain. And because this was my doing… It was nearly unbearable.

My cell phone vibrated in my pocket. The shock nearly gave me a heart attack. I pulled it out, and it displayed that I had a text from Mike: _be there in 20. got lost._ Right. My sense of place and time came back. Today was the beginning of the night I had been preparing for. Nothing was going to mess this up, especially not my emotions. Nothing would go wrong this time.

The air was thin and unrefreshing as I emerged from the car. I had thrown the overalls in a small duffel I kept in the back seat, and was ready to start to head back to the house. The cable car was slowly making its way up the mountain, so I imagined Chris had followed my advice and not waited up.

As I began my journey to where the cable car would eventually return, I felt myself growing calmer. _Leave your worries behind._ This was the night. Finally, everyone would see how it feels. To be humiliated. To be terrified. To feel betrayed. To be in a living hell. The only difference was that their hell would eventually end. I still had a lifetime awaiting me.

But oddly, right now it didn't matter. I walked tall. Proud. It even felt like there was an audience watching and cheering me on. At least I'd never be alone that way.

 _A/N: Hey guys! This one is a bit shorter, but it's more to get some memories in there before everything comes crashing down. I think we'll be joining Sam for the next chapter, so get pumped for that! So let me know what you guys think! It's always nice to know who else I'm writing for. I hope you enjoyed and let me know how I'm doing! Thanks and see you again soon!_


	4. Chapter 4 (Sam)

_Once more, for this chapter in particular: I don't own anything that isn't mine. Until Dawn is not mine, despite the love I have for it. Alright, here we go!_

Chapter Three:

"Boom. Butterfly Effect." Chris wiggled his fingers, miming an explosion. Abby began clapping her hands sarcastically, and Chris, always fond of an adoring audience, pretended to bow. "Thank you, thank you." He responded cheekily. I chuckled, rolling my eyes at the both of them.

"And this one decision that you made to explain the Butterfly Effect to me," I began, looking at Chris beside me on the cable car seat, "may cause me to leave Blackwood Pines and never speak to you again. Boom. Butterfly Effect."

Abby began laughing. She placed her hands over her mouth, yelling, "ooohh!" And with a smirk, she looked at Chris, and used her best announcer voice to proclaim, "aaand the serve was returned, bringing the score to fifteen-love. Will Chris ever recover?"

As Chris began stumbling around for a snarky response, a strange ball of energy began in my stomach and spread out to my limbs. The intense feeling of nostalgia racked my body, leaving a bittersweet feeling in its wake. The three of us always had a keen ability of making others feel better, if only by feigning a sense of normality. Not many things between us were awkward, and usually we could put ourselves and others at ease. There was a decent chance that this would be the calm before the storm, especially considering the personalities that would be here this weekend.

Of course, all the memories and unspoken words were doing their best to find their way to the surface, but I used everything I could to push them below. Just like everyone else probably was, I'm sure. No memories of last year. No mention of the shattered states we were all in. None of the breakdowns, none of the fall outs. Everything was okay.

"Okay, wait." Abby interjected into the silence, causing my body to tense up. I began to fear that she might bring up something about last year. My blood was cold. "Real talk." _Never mind, we're safe_. That was more or less Abby's code phrase for gossip. "So Emily is with Matt now?"

I couldn't help but laugh. I had gotten so scared of what Abby could have said that her consistent lack of latest gossip was refreshing and funnier than it usually was. It took her two months to realize when Emily and Mike had gotten together. Granted, they had been flirting for a while so it didn't look like much had changed, but we all always still liked to poke fun at her obliviousness. "Yes, Abby. They've been together for a few months now."

Chris tsked and shook his head. "Abby: always asking the important questions." Abby jaw fell open, as she pretended to be offended. Chris just shrugged playfully.

"Well," Abby began slowly, "I would have asked about you and Ash, but, uh…" she grimaced at Chris and said quietly, "I already knew the answer to that one." Chris put his hands over his heart as if he were wounded, though he couldn't fight the smile that began to creep onto his face.

Using my best announcer voice, I yelled, "Oh! And Chris takes another hit, bringing the score to thirty-love. I'm beginning to wonder if Chris is out of his league with these opponents." Abby fell into hysterics, which actually was refreshing to see. The familiarity of her curls falling onto her face and her hand reaching up to cover her mouth, like a form of defense.

Defeated, Chris muttered, "Well, if you guys are just going to gang up on me…" As he physically turned her body away from Abby and me, the cable car finally reached the station at the top of the mountain. For a moment, I had forgotten where we were, lost in the moment. It was a wonderful feeling.

As the three of us stepped into the station, an intense feeling of sadness swept the momentary happiness away. The memories up here with Hannah were some of the ones I still held onto after everything. And now we were here and it was almost like I could still feel her with me. Which, for some reason, felt more alarming than reassuring.

Abby must have seen my expression flicker, because she began to head over to me. I expected a hand squeeze or a classic Abby _I'm-here_ smile, but instead she only looked at me and then at Chris, and muttered just loud enough for him to hear. "Did you invite this guy? 'Cause I know I did _not_."

The bubble of laughter burst from me before I even registered that her joke was funny. I was so desperately in need for a laugh. Chris turned around with a finger raised to defend himself, but when he saw that I was laughing so hard a tear came out of the corner of my eye, he just smiled and let out a laugh too.

 _January 9th, 2014_

" _You guys sure you'll be okay?" Chris looked doubtingly at me and Hannah. Sometimes I couldn't understand how dumb he could be. Here we were, trying to give him and his crush some alone time through the dark, scary forest, and he was insisting that we shouldn't go up alone._

" _Chris, Hannah and I are big girls now, I think we can handle a half mile walk up a mountain." I did my best to shoo him on his way. Pretty sure he didn't get the hint, he just got tired of arguing. "We'll be just a little while behind you. You guys go, Josh is waiting for you."_

" _Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" Ashley laughed and turned around, heading for the door. Chris reached it before she could. A slight hint of red began to tint her face as she thanked him and stepped outside. With a nervous breath, Chris went through the door and let it swing shut behind him._

 _The click of the handle closing relieved a weird sense of awkward that had managed to build while the four of us skated around our ulterior motives. Hannah and I breathed out a collective sigh of relief with the invisible pressure lifted. Slowly she rose from her crouched position, having lied to Chris and Ashley about not being able to find her glasses case. She had been pretending to rummage around in her backpack._ Tricky Hannah _, I thought._ She could be more devious than people gave her credit for.

" _You'd think that he'd take the hint." I remarked, putting my hands on my hips like I was tired out after a long day of work._

" _Well, you know Chris." Hannah shrugged. "Anything that has to do with Ashley and he turns into a pile of mush." Both of us laughed, and I turned myself to lean against one of the safety railings. A few moments later and Hannah was by my side. I leaned back, using my arms on the rail to support me. "How much time should we give them?" Hannah wondered aloud, using the side of her glasses to adjust them farther up to the bridge of her nose._

" _Just a few minutes head start is probably fine." I responded, figuring they would walk at a decent speed. Hannah nodded beside me and leaned back, her fingers brushing mine on the railing. My stomach jumped. I glanced at Hannah at the exact moment her eyes travelled to mine. A tiny red blush was beginning to blossom on her cheeks. Quickly, she lowered her eyes to the ground, though a faint smile played on her lips. Her nose was turning red from the cold._

 _In a moment that felt like a lifetime, I felt overly aware of everything. Her puffy black earmuffs that reaffirmed her aura of innocence. Her long, straight dark hair cascading down past her shoulders. The perfect pink of her full lips, made even more beautiful by the smile fighting its way onto her face. The smile that I know she reserved for me. Cute and coy and special. My stomach was buzzing, and when Hannah looked up at me, I couldn't help myself._

 _All of a sudden, I reached out my hands and pulled her face towards mine, meeting her halfway. Electricity coursed through my body. Her lips were softer than I had imagined. Slowly, they began to move with mine. She was soft and gentle. Goosebumps began to grow on my arms. This was complete bliss._

 _Too soon, Hannah pulled away, her face now completely flushed. For a moment, I was worried that I had overstepped, but then she grinned. Without even thinking, a smile spread across my face, and I pushed a stray strand of her hair behind her ear. She pressed her face into my hand._

 _Waking us from our trance, Hannah's phone buzzed from her pocket. She jolted a bit, scared by the sudden noise. Apparently, the message wasn't important enough for her to read it, sending another wave of happiness through my body. But we both knew we had to begin walking or people would worry. In tacit agreement, we pushed ourselves off of the railing and strolled through the door of the station and into the cold. Within a few seconds, Hannah broke the silence. "Wonder if Chris finally grew a pair." After a few moments of consideration, we just laughed in response._

"The door won't open." Chris grunted while he attempted to pull on the handle using his whole body weight. No dice. It must be locked with some kind of mechanism from the outside. _That makes no sense_ , I thought to myself. _Wonder who designed that._

"Well, what do we do now? This wasn't in the instructions." Abby laughed half-heartedly, stepping closer to the door to take a good look. Right as Abby had gotten to the window, Jess appeared from around the corner. She must have been sitting on the bench out front. Before she realized we were here, we had already yelled her name.

Jess jumped back a few steps with her hand over her heart. "Ahh! What the hell?!" Never one to let others see her without being fully composed, she fell back onto her natural response to embarrassment: snark. "Uh, are you guys having a really weird stroke?" I pushed away a brief spark of anger. _Forgiveness_ , I reminded myself. Hadn't I forgiven a while ago?

Abby waved. "Hey, Jess." She strained her naturally quiet voice for it to be heard through the door.

"We're stuck in this stupid thing." Chris explained.

"Can you get us out of here?" I asked pleadingly. For emphasis, I added, "Pretty please?" Jess walked over to what was most likely some sort of control panel, and with a loud click, the door unlocked. Chris pulled it open and the three of us poured out. Even though it wasn't incredibly terrifying to be stuck inside, there was still a sense of relief.

"Oh. My. God." Chris stated, sounding exactly like a teenage girl. "I thought we were goners." Abby and I looked at each other and rolled our eyes. "Another ten minutes in there and I would've chewed off my own leg."

"Aw, sick, Chris." I muttered, turning away from him. Sometimes Chris got a little too gruesome. The downside of trying to be the funny guy. Sometimes it's a bit too much.

Eager to change the subject, Chris noticed that Jess was clutching something in her hands. "Is this what I think it is?" He made a move to grab it from her hand, but she was able to jerk it away in time, though not before he got a better look at it. It appeared to be a letter. "My goodness. Seems like someone has a lil' crush on our good friend and dear class president Michael Munroe."

"Aw, leave her alone, dude." Abby cut in unexpectedly, taking a step towards Jess as if she was her bodyguard. While she thought no one was looking, Jess flashed Abby a grateful look. _When had they become friends?_

"You'll figure it out eventually." Jess had adopted her regular, unperturbed air. The spark was back in her eyes, though her lips were drawn a little tighter than before.

"Alright, alright. Let's just get up to the lodge already. Getting tired of all this nature and junk." Chris decided, attempting to regain control of the conversation. I had already lost my focus on the conversation. Behind Abby was the most gorgeous view I had ever seen. The trees on the mountain, snow glistening off the branches and the thistles and the ground… The wind was blowing the snow in waves across the mountain, and the sun was nearly gone, giving the whole place a dusky tint. It was so beautifully dark. There was something poetic to be said, if only I could be so eloquent.

"Sam?" I heard my name through a fog. For a moment, it sounded like… But it couldn't be. And yet, I heard her.

" _Sam!" Hannah's voice rang through the house. "Sam!" It was like the sound of a bell ringing. So light and airy. Hannah ran into our shared room and watched as I removed my pajamas from my suitcase. Then, as if she had just remembered there was a reason she was running up the stairs to find me, she ran over and threw something in my direction._

" _What?" I laughed at her goofy grin._ Goofy Hannah, _I noted._ Was she tipsier than I thought she was? _She picked it up from where it landed on the bed, and launched it towards me again. It looked like a note. My eyebrows scrunched in confusion, but I gently took the note from her hands. The handwriting was sloppy._

Hannah, _it was addressed,_ You look so damn hot in that shirt...but I bet you're even hotter out of it. _"You've gotta be kidding me." I muttered. My stomach began filling with a disgusting sense of dread. Hannah wouldn't. Did she really believe…? The note ended with a summoning to meet "Mike" in the guest room at two o'clock. And, of course, a cute little "_ xxx _" sign off. All of this reeked like one of the girls._

" _Isn't this so exciting?!" Hannah spewed, beginning to pace back and forth besides me. "I didn't think he noticed me, but he did tonight! This is incredible! It's fantastic!" As she began to ramble, each word cut into me like a knife. Had she forgotten about what had happened only hours before? I know we hadn't really talked about it, but I had thought that once the alcohol wore off tonight… Nausea was welling up inside me._

" _Hannah." I said weakly. She noticed. Her expression dropped, and she ran over to stand in front of me. Her eyes sparkled with worry. "But. I thought." Nothing entering my mind was coherent. I felt like a bumbling idiot. A hurt, bumbling idiot. "We kissed." Those were the only words that I could speak. And even those weren't enough to encapsulate every ounce of hurt and confusion and anger I was beginning to feel._

" _I know, but this is Mike." Hannah spoke softly, like if she was gentle enough, she could prevent the pieces inside me from falling apart. As if they already hadn't. "You know this is just whatever. He has Emily." Another reason she didn't understand, pointing only towards a lie. "I finally get to be that girl! No strings attached, gets to hook up with her dream man! Sam, I thought you supported me and Mike."_

 _This was unbelievable. Not only couldn't she understand that this was clearly some kind of prank, but she thought that since this was_ _Mike_ _the almighty, she could just waltz around with him and do whatever she wanted._ _Like I would be waiting for her once she was finished. God, how tipsy was she?_ Can she even see that I have feelings for her? _In what world would I have ever kissed her if I didn't like her?_

" _I'm sorry, Sam, but I have to go soon." Her words were like daggers through the silence. Any part of me that would have told her to really consider if this was truthful was gone. Pain took over every part of my body, and all I could feel was a desire for her to feel an ounce of the embarrassment and pain and rejection that I was feeling. I knew she didn't love Mike the way I loved her. And she was too blind to see anything._

" _Just go." I muttered under my breath. I covered my head with my hands, squeezing as I tried to calm the explosion yearning to break free from my brain and my chest._

" _Sam?"_

"GO! _"_

 _A few footsteps scattering across the floor. And then silence. Deafening silence. My sobs began to fill the room. Yet somehow that felt better than the emptiness of the room and the inside of my heart._

"...Sam?" Once more, my name appeared through a fog. It wasn't Hannah, I realized. Chris had said my name. I had just wanted it to be her. A moment passed where I stayed still, but once I remembered that I should give a response, I turned around. Chris was looking at me, waiting for a response to a question I totally missed. I remembered where I was. And the view was gorgeous.

"Do you see this view?" I asked, motioning with my arms to the majesty I had just been staring at. "I mean, holy cow!" Those were the only words I could summon. "Sometimes I forget to just stop and take it all in."

"Maybe we can find you a nice tent in the house." Abby laughed and began walking on the trail towards the Washington house. Step by step, getting closer to a night that would inevitably be beyond any of our imaginations. For a moment, I felt like I was drowning inside my own body, helpless in a universe way bigger than myself.

"Bye Jess!" Chris waved and very obviously winked at Jess, who appeared to be staying back by the cable car, waiting for who I assumed to be Mike.

All of a sudden, I was back. Chris, Abby and I. Three non-awkward musketeers. It was just weekend. Nothing I couldn't handle with the help of friends. I pushed the memories beneath the surface. No more. Tonight, we would relive the happy. Tonight, we were porn stars. I smiled to myself, and took the first step towards our future.

 _A/N: Sorry this one took a bit longer—some bad personal things happened and I was kinda struggling to get through a few things. But it is here now, and I hope you enjoyed. It moved through editing a little fast, so I hopefully it ended up okay. Thanks for the reviews that you guys have given me. I appreciate them so much. It's so nice to know that I'm not just doing this for myself, and that other people care about my writing. Life is messed up sometimes, but the even the little things can help get you through. See you soon for another installment!_


	5. Chapter 5 (Jessica)

Chapter Four:

"Jesus Christ," I muttered under my breath as I watched Abby, Chris and Sam meander towards the lodge. That dumb letter had nearly gotten me an interrogation by America's Most Oblivious. I could practically hear Chris ask when _that_ had started, wondering if it was too close to the Alpha break up, if the dates lined up right. And Sam's ever-so-slightly condescending smile, because of course she'd assume the worst of me. Like that was what I needed right now. Another girl thinking I'm just a slut.

My backpack was sitting on the bench, and I rushed over and shoved the letter into a random pocket, zipping it closed. For some reason, I just felt weird. I had always wanted this—to have a boyfriend that made people think I was worth something. But I hadn't really thought it through, I guess. All this just surged my anxiety.

All of this for Mike. It had felt so natural, the way we had been getting closer. He and Emily had begun drifting apart and breaking down, and he wanted someone he could talk to and just hang out with. And not even _"_ _hang out_ _"_ hang out. Just spending time with someone. We had started talking about Emily, and then about Josh, and then we just kept talking.

Of course, he had always been a flirt. But then again, he flirted with just about anything with a pulse. He usually meant no harm. But one day he told me that he and Em were "splitsville" and something had felt different. I had brushed it off, believing I was reading too into things. But when, slowly but surely, our texts became visits and our visits became trips, the line became a bit blurred. That was when Emily drew hers.

 _August 23rd, 2014_

" _You can't date Mike!" Emily screamed at me. Over the phone, nonetheless. Couldn't even find the time to yell at me in person. "What the hell, Jess?! Friends don't do that!"_ That was rich _. The friendship card. I could almost hear Mike calling her out with a classic "bullshit!" But I was tired of acting like Em was some goddamn queen. No more._

 _I summed every ounce of strength and anger inside me. "You know what, Em?! You knew exactly how_ I _felt about_ Matt _!" She was already barking up his tree. "And any claim you had to being my friend vanished when you did! Mike's been more of a friend than you've been!" It was so nice to finally let those words fall out of my mouth. I think she might have tried to say something in response, but I wasn't going to give in. "You're not my mom, and you're not my friend, and who I may or may not date is no longer any of your business!"_

 _Before I could stop myself, I hung up my phone. Right away, a horrible feeling surged in my stomach. Even though she was completely overreacting, I knew I shouldn't have acted so rough. Emily always yelled at everyone, and I usually just took it, but yelling back always did more damage. But even though I felt regret, there was a twinge of contentment. It just wasn't fair that she was holding me to some standard she had already broken. Maybe it wasn't completely fair of me, but she deserved to know how I had been feeling recently. What kind of best friend just breaks you down, piece by piece?_

 _I didn't feel like sitting anymore. I jumped off my bed and went downstairs, hoping maybe Princess was around or there was some mind-numbing reality TV on. Any distraction would be welcome. Anything to focus on besides the pit in my stomach._

 _Before I had successfully found the cat, the doorbell rang. There was no one else home, so it couldn't have been for my parents or my brother._ Weird. _Deciding—mainly out of curiosity—to be brave, I tiptoed to the door and pressed my face onto it to look out the peephole._ No way _. The guy's head was out of range, but I'd recognize that preppy sweater anywhere._ That douche. _Against my will, I felt a smile growing on my face._

 _His cheeky smile was plastered on his face before I had even opened the door. "Mike!" I exclaimed, throwing my arms around him before even thinking about it. He was visibly thrown off, body pushed back a bit by my momentum, but after a moment, he wrapped his arms around my torso. And I felt protected. "If you keep greeting me like this, I might stop by more often."_

" _Why are you here?" I asked, unlatching my arms and poking him playfully on his chest. He flashed me the classic Mike smirk._

" _Thought maybe you'd wanna do something today? I know you've got that paper, but…" He trailed off, cocking his head and raising his eyebrows_. Shit, my paper. _I had forgotten all about it because of that dumb phone call with Emily._

" _Let's go." I decided, running back to the chest I usually throw my stuff on. My purse was lying dejectedly next to a heavy winter coat. In a matter of seconds, I had my purse in my hand and was on my way out of the house._

" _Where to?" Mike asked, chuckling as I locked the front door and raced past him to his car._ I swear that smirk must be glued to his face.

" _Anywhere."_

Between the cold and the feelings churning in my stomach, I was incredibly antsy while I waited for Mike at the top of the cable car lift. My fingers tapped against the bench to a silent song somewhere inside my muscle memory. I was extra aware of my nose freezing, picturing the shade of pink it must be already. A small smile appeared on my lips. As long as my makeup still covered the bags underneath my eyes, it'd be fine.

A white blur suddenly whizzed past my head and there was a bang against the side of the wall, and I reflexively threw my body to the other side after a bit of a delay. I whipped my head around. _Speak of the Devil_. Mike himself, with none other than his _gotcha_ smirk. I let out a laugh. "Oh you did not just do that!"

Mike swaggered forward, asserting, "Put your hands up, little lady. We've got you surrounded."

Out of the corner of my eye, I assessed my options. "Well then what choice do I have?" Mike was slowly walking closer, and if I ran for it, I could make it to the tree fast enough to gather some snow together. So I ran.

Mike grunted, and I peeked to the side with just enough time to duck and dodge another snowball speeding for my head. I grinned at him as I threw myself towards the ground, quickly scraping together a handful of snow and compacting it. Standing up quickly, I stood still behind the tree and listened for his footsteps crunching in the snow. Once I had an idea of where he was, I ran from the tree and pelted a snowball right at his chest. "Gotcha!"

"Oh, now you're gonna get it!" Mike taunted, bending down to make another snowball. I ran towards the handrail of the cable car station, scraping the snow off of it. Absent mindedly, I heard a bird flutter onto the nearby picnic table. Mike quickly ducked behind another tree, and I used the extra time to make sure my snowball was solid enough.

With a battle cry, Mike came flying from the other side of the tree and threw another snowball towards me, and I sprinted back away from the cable car, though his snowball grazed my right arm. "So close!" Mike yelled.

"Gotta do better than that next time!" I shouted back, and flung my snowball towards him, and though he heaved his body to the side, it still landed square on his right shoulder. Quickly I sought refuge behind a smaller tree and pressed my back against it, listening for his movement. But it was quiet. Slowly I gathered some snow into the palm of my glove. The bird on the picnic table flew away, and I poked my head around the side of the tree. Where was he?

All of a sudden arms snatched my waist and a voice in my ear laughed maniacally. "Ha ha ha, I got you now!" Mike crooned happily. He held a snowball above my head and crushed it in his hand, and the pieces fell down on my hair and shoulders.

"Oh, you cheated!" I yelled, though I couldn't stop my smile.

"No, _this_ would be cheating." Mike explained, and pushed my torso against the tree trunk, pinning me with both arms stretched out. A victory smile was on his face.

"I think I can do better than that, pretty boy." I said softly, and lifted up my face for a kiss. Just enough to tease him. Once I pulled away, I smashed the pile of snow I gathered in my hand onto his face.

His face contorted as he tried to spit out the snow that had entered his mouth. "Okay, okay, Miss Snowball Queen." He used a hand to wipe off the excess snow, and I brushed some out of his hair. "Truce?" Mike asked, raising his hands.

I pretended to think about it. "Truce." Seconds later, our lips met once more.

 _January 10th, 2014_

 _The Washington lodge was so huge that I was lucky I'd randomly chosen to go down the left corridor and so happened to stumble upon my room. Chris, in all his nervous drunken glory, had managed to spill beer down the front of my shirt, which had actually angered me. Meaning, of course, that I was a little more sober than I would have liked._

 _All this led up to my journey upstairs, where I somehow found my room after nearly running into Hannah, who was hidden in semi-darkness, staring at the prom photo of her, Beth, Sam and Mike. Drunk Hannah was always a trip. One moment she'd be giddy drunk Hannah, and the next she'd be broody drunk Hannah. We had yet to figure out precisely how much alcohol led to which stage. For a minute, I felt bad, but honestly, that girl just needed to get over him. She'd been fawning over him for years. No boy is worth that wait._

 _She had vanished when I wandered down the hallway again looking for the stairs. Embarrassed, probably. She liked to think that no one knew about her giant crush on Mike, but everyone could tell. Mike had always thought it was cute, but ever since he and Em had started dating, she didn't think it was as harmless as Mike did. She'd act a little bitchier than usual when Hannah was around, and I think part of her was always upset that I wouldn't blindly follow her lead._ And besides, _I thought to myself,_ Emily of all people should know I would empathize.

 _The staircase brought me into the living room, and before I could find Ash, I spotted Matt in the kitchen. My heart pounded in my chest. Finally! He was alone! I had to find Emily. Backtracking to avoid the sightline of the kitchen, I went around into the family room, and spotted Emily with Mike, drunk Chris and a shockingly sober Josh. Casually, I slid next to Emily, and while the guys were laughing at whatever testosterone fest they were having, I nudged Emily._

" _Em!" I whispered. She turned her head casually, appearing not to be interested in what I had to say. "Matt's alone in the kitchen! Can you go talk to him for me?" I felt ridiculous asking for help, but Emily had insisted that she wanted to. Of course, that was last week, and recently she had been so…_

" _No." She stated simply and turned back to her crowd of men, plastering a flirty smile on her face._ No explanation required, evidently _._

" _Em, please?" This was the third time she had blown me off this week. And her casual aloofness had been a recurring theme since she started sticking her tongue down Mike's throat. I don't know what happened, but I really didn't enjoy getting treated like some second-string acquaintance. "You promised."_

" _Next time. Just let me have tonight with Mike."_

Yeah. You and Mike and the two other guys you're getting attention from, _I thought bitterly_. _Whatever. I rolled my eyes and headed for the fridge for another drink_. Some friend.

 _For a moment, I had forgotten Matt had been hanging around the kitchen, and my heart leapt again once I saw him, though it immediately sunk afterwards. Giddy drunk Hannah was back and laughing at one of Matt's jokes, resting her hand on his arm. I groaned aloud._ Figures. Em stole her guy and now there's a smaller group of single men _, especially considering Chris was hopelessly in love with Ashley and it was only a matter of time before Josh and Abby hooked up._

 _A fire inside me began to burn and I turned sharply from the kitchen and headed back upstairs._ Freaking Hannah _. No matter._ I think this night is beginning to get a little boring. _There was a spring in my step as I looked for some paper and a marker._ Time to spice things up _. I smirked to myself. Emily's good graces, here I come._

"C'mon babe." Mike crooned and tugged on my hand, pulling my body towards his. We were both cold, but the heat radiating from our bodies helped ever so slightly.

Longingly, I looked at my backpack. Turning my head back to Mike's, I said, "I can't 'c'mon' with you holding my like this." I wriggled my body, making a rather half-assed attempt to escape. In defeat, I looked back at Mike, who was smirking.

"Really?" He asked, eyes twinkling. Gently but noticeably, he pulled my hips to his, grinding them almost imperceptibly. "I thought it would have helped." He winked.

"Mike!" I yelled, doing my best not to laugh as I lightly punched his chest with my hand. Mike laughed openly and softly kissed my forehead before untangling his arms from my waist. His smile was soft, and his brown puppy dog eyes gazed deep into mine. Part of me melted inside. "Alright." I spoke softly. "Let's go." I shuffled over to the bench, and with one swift motion, I grabbed my backpack and threw it over my shoulder.

"Yes, ma'am." Mike responded, winking. For a moment, he stood still, watching me. But after a slight hesitation, he leaned down and kissed my temple. My stomach felt warm and fuzzy. My eyes closed, and I hoped that we could stay like this for just another few seconds.

But with the faint feeling of his hand brushing mine and his lips pulling back from my head, my eyes opened and my stomach dropped a little. I had been dreading this part. Trying not to think about what horrors might await us at the lodge, I began walking towards Mike, who had already taken the first steps of his own journey. Something was tugging on my brain. What if Mike really was…?

Before my paranoid brain could even ponder the answer to my loathsome question, I noticed Mike had stopped to smile at me. Immediately, my heart scolded my brain for being so scared. Mike wouldn't. I trusted him. _I did._

He reached out his hand towards me, and I grabbed it with my own, interlocking our gloved fingers. _H_ _ave a little faith, Jess. Everything will be fine._

 _A/N: Hey guys! Wow, so that took a while. Turns out school kinda eats all your free time. I'm going to keep writing as much as I can, but updates may be a bit sporadic. Bear with me, and remember that feedback always helps the process. Thanks to any and all those who are still reading this, and happy holidays to those celebrating anything!_


	6. Chapter 6 (Ashley)

Chapter Five:

"Of course, Chris. I'm fine!" I muttered under my breath. "Why would I need you to help lead me up a dangerous, icy mountain? Stupid!" I kicked a pile of snow on the ground that immediately exploded into flakes and flew away in the wind. A sigh fell out of my lungs. _God, Ash, why didn't you ask to spend time with him?_

Chris had asked if he could drive me to Blackwood Mountain, but naturally my stupid brain crashed and I convinced him out of it. I was a little afraid of spending so much alone time with him, but of course I had to complicate my lie by telling him I was going with Jess. Which then required that I call ask and beg her to save a seat in her car. Luckily she and Mike decided to travel separately, otherwise I would have been stuck.

The path beneath my feet wound on for what felt like forever, and I was beginning to regret splitting up with Jess. I know she wanted to meet Mike, but I didn't know how much longer I needed to keep walking, and the woods were actually pretty creepy. Of course, I just tried to focus on everything besides the hairs standing up on the back of my neck.

In the distance, there seemed to be another smaller path that veered off to the right. I squinted, and saw what looked to be the gazebo thing where the binoculars were. A smile spread across my face, happy to have something to entertain myself with, and I picked up my pace. A vague memory of last year came back. I remembered being up there with Jess, ironically, hoping a little too desperately to catch a glimpse of either Chris or Matt. _I wonder if it still works_.

The path now turned to wood stairs, built into the ground because the incline was so steep. Tentatively, I grasped onto the handrail as I headed up and directed my eyes to the familiar structure. A strange sense of giddiness filled my limbs, I suppose because once again, I was hoping to find a particular visitor. "I'm such a dweeb."

Excitedly half-skipping to the binoculars, I held the machine in my hands and gazed out, looking for somewhere to aim. Only then did I realize exactly how high up the mountain I was. The incline from this angle down was incredibly steep, and I could see chunks of the main path in between the giant tree trunks and snow drifts. From a little farther, I saw some movement, and ducked down to the machine, pushing my eyes against the lens. I squinted a little and moved the binoculars around, finally finding the source of the movement.

There were two people standing on the path to the lodge, standing close to each other. One was definitely female, and the other looked like Mike… Those weren't Jess's clothes, and from this angle her hair looked dark, but it was too straight and short to be Abby… They seemed engaged in a rather intense conversation. Mike's hand was holding onto her shoulder, and as she shrugged, she—

"Oh shit." The words spilled out of my mouth as Emily's face popped out from behind Mike's head. "Oh, no. Oh, God." More words kept tumbling out. All I could think was that this was wrong, and that it couldn't be what it looks like. Mike wouldn't. I had just talked to him, he was so excited to spend time with Jess. But Em… Maybe it wasn't so surprising she and Jess had that fallout. The image was just making me anxious.

 _Thank goodness it's me and not Jess or-_

"OH, GOD!" I screamed as a face sprung into the view of the binoculars. My heart had leapt out of my chest before my brain realized that it was only Matt and not a serial killer. "Jesus, Matt!"

"Sorry, Ash!" Matt threw his arms up and started sputtering. Classic Matt. Always a little too impulsive and ends up regretting it soon after. "I didn't mean to scare you like that." He paused and tilted his head towards the ground, breaking eye contact. "I mean, I meant to scare you, but not like, _really_ scare you."

"Goodness, Matt!" I exclaimed and used my hand to push on his chest, sending him a half a step backwards.

He was fumbling over his words. "I'm really sorry, Ash, damn-"

My heart was still racing, but I figured I'd let Matt off easy this time, considering… "It's alright. I think I'll recover okay." Still clutching my heart, I leaned against the binoculars, hoping maybe I could block the machine from his view.

"Did you see anything juicy with that thing?" _Dammit, Matt._ He smiled cheekily. "Besides me, of course." Maybe I had drawn his attention to it and not from it… _Dammit, Ash._

"Nah, nothing really." I scrambled for words. And quite possibly that was the worst lie I had ever told. _I wouldn't even believe me._ "Let's head up to the lodge. I'm pretty frozen."

Matt cocked his head and smirked, taking a few steps closer to me and the binoculars. My brain wasn't functioning. I commanded myself to say something or do something. I didn't want Matt— Maybe if I— I have to— "Wait, Matt!"

It was too late. He had pushed his eyes against the lens and within a matter of seconds, a frown was plastered onto his face. "Son of a bitch! Are you kidding me?!"

"Matt, listen. You know that it's probably nothing—"

"C'mon Ash, you know them better than I do. It's never nothing with them." He pushed himself away from the binoculars, frown now taking over the rest of his face. He kicked the ground. My mouth was open but I couldn't find the words to say.

"Matt—"

"I gotta go, Ash." Matt mumbled and rushed out of the gazebo, footsteps thick on the boards, sending the vibrations through my own, empty body. And then he was gone, and words still failed me.

* * *

 _February 20th, 2014_

 _The handles of my bag had begun to dig into my wrist. I already had my fun on this shopping trip, but Jess and Emily wanted to buy some new clothes for spring. And normally I could have bailed early on them to go back home to my sister, but recently it's felt like they've been standing on thin ice. Almost like a tiny thread has been holding them together, but that it's nearly about to snap. We were all pretending that we were okay, but their relationship especially seemed to be slowly pulling apart._

 _They skipped from rack to rack, carefully observing the latest fashions, occasionally feeling the fabric, but never once checking a price tag. Which, admittedly, was a little frightening, because the pair of jeans I had checked out earlier had been labelled as $80. I looked down at the book in my bag. It had only been $18, but it felt like a splurge, considering it was so new the paperback edition wasn't in stock yet and I had to buy the hardcover. Not that Jess and Emily were rich, or anything. Not like the Washingtons…_

 _A bright green sweater caught my gaze, and I brought the sleeve to my nose and smelled it. It smelled like the mall, and for some reason that was comforting._

" _Uh, Ash?" Jess's voice came from behind a row of little black dresses. Quickly, I dropped the sweater and turned to meet her amused gaze. "You doing alright over there?" Her smirk was a little patronizing, but in a comforting, familiar way. If that was even possible. I cleared my throat and stood a little straighter._

" _Aw, leave her be." Em responded, blocked by a mannequin sporting a really comfy-looking gray cardigan. She strutted towards us with a pair of sunglasses so huge they took up half her face. Somewhere behind the glasses I saw her eyes twinkle mischievously. "It's not like Chris was giving her any action, she has to improvise." Emily and Jess both broke into laughter._

Of course. Their favorite past time. Making fun of me. _But it was okay. I let out a few laughs. My own situation was a little humorous, I'd admit. I was just glad that they could come together again, even if I was the victim._

 _It wasn't always this way. Before they had felt comfortable enough to pick on me, they had other targets. Usually harmless, of course. It was only when Emily started dating Mike that she had taken on a new personality to defend her Alpha status. And unfortunately, the top challenger had been the girl who had always had Mike in her sights… Even if they were unrealistic sights._

 _Butterflies flew around in my stomach, and I began to fidget with my hair. These were my signs. If Mike had been here, he would have offered to buy me a slushie or taken me to the pet store to gush over all the puppies, but Jess was checking out her Facebook wall on her phone, and Emily was admiring her makeup in the sunglass lenses. Before I knew it, I was word vomiting. "You guys?" I asked timidly, not really giving them much time before launching into what I would probably end up regretting. "Do you ever, like, get worried that they're still out there? And—And we're not looking for them and that we left them and—"_

 _They both rushed to me without a moment's hesitation. My eyes were intently locked on the ground, and I couldn't tell which one of them, if not both, was shushing me. A hand grasped my arm, probably a little less gently than was intended. They felt really close to me, and all I wanted was to go curl up in a corner._

" _Ash." Emily whispered gently. I kept my eyes on Emily's cute shoes, afraid I would break into tears if I looked anywhere else. "Ash." She repeated, firmer this time, and I realized she was waiting for me to look at her. Taking a deep breath, I slowly looked up at Emily's face, which was actually riddled with concern. "It's going to be okay." Platitude. "I know that you're scared, because we all are." Platitude. "But there's nothing else that we can do right now." That was...actually true. "Everyone who has the power to help is up there, on that mountain, doing their best to find out what happened."_

" _It's a terrible feeling, believe me, I know." Jess jumped in. "But the world is still turning, and we just have to keep hoping for the best."_

" _And besides, Hannah and Beth are fighters." Emily resumed control of the conversation. "I wouldn't be surprised if they already found their way to some other village and were on their way home right now."_

 _This whole conversation felt so forced. These excuses felt too thin and fronted, but if I didn't calm down, I'd let myself fall into a full scale panic attack. I attempted to block out all the distractions and focus on my breaths. Emily and Jess were saying something, but I decided it was best to just keep timing my inhales and exhales. Within a few minutes, my heart felt calm again and my body was a little less jittery. By no means was I okay, but comparatively speaking, I was better._ And I guess that had to be enough.

 _Once I had convinced them that I was back to normal, they had each grabbed a few things to go try on in the fitting rooms, and I hung around outside to rate the contenders like I was some kind of fashion expert. And as they blissfully tried on clothes and looked at themselves admiringly in the mirror, I wondered how they got by._

 _I didn't believe that they didn't feel some kind of guilt. But how do they manage to live with it? I suppose it's fine to invent all the reasons not to fall into self-loathing and despair… But is that just lying to yourself?_ Do they really not feel anything, or can they just separate everything into neat little boxes?

 _Maybe we all just mourn differently. Maybe we just process everything differently. Maybe we do whatever it takes to keep breathing for another day._ And I guess that has to be enough.

* * *

"Dammit!" I yelled in frustration. Most of that was towards myself for hurting Matt and not being able to help, but there was also a fair portion of that frustration directed towards the two people responsible. We graduated high school, we were supposed to have put all that stupid, thoughtless drama behind us. Right? "I can't believe it." I muttered, shaking my head in denial.

I let out a sigh and slowly inhaled again, calming myself and shaking off all the feelings. Of all the reasons I should be feeling emotions today, this is not one of them. This was the reason that everything snowballed last year. We needed to stay in control of our emotions and act like adults. And I knew when I saw Mike I would give him a piece of—

"Ash?" Footsteps from the gazebo entrance. Ironically, it was Mike who walked into the faint light. _Speak of the Devil_. "Is everything okay? Hanging out in the gazebo?"

"You!" I yelled at him, moving forward and jabbing his chest with my index finger. His eyes widened and he took a few steps back.

"What happened?!" Mike asked, concerned. He looked like he was afraid something had happened to me. If only that were the case.

"What were you thinking?!" My words just tumbled out. "Actually, let me rephrase that. Why _weren't_ you thinking?" The feeling of anger didn't dissipate, even with his face twisted in an expression of fear. "The _last_ thing we need again this year is you unable to keep it in your pants!"

"I…" Mike stammered, looking unsure of what I was talking about. "I don't…" For the first time, he looked around and realized that there were binoculars attached to the gazebo. His eyes glazed over in understanding. "It wasn't what it looked like. You know I have no interest in Emily."

"I know that!" I exploded again, flailing my arms and turning from him to pace back and forth. "But Matt doesn't! You can't let her have anything. That girl always turns an inch into a mile!" Now that he understood his mistake, the adrenaline calmed down, and I felt like I was running on empty. "Matt saw you guys." I stopped pacing and turned back to Mike. "You know I always defend you, but it looked bad."

"He has to understand that Emily is a bit of a flirt. He knows that she—"

"It doesn't matter. Her behavior is on her. But you can't encourage her." My stomach was in knots. "Matt's gonna be angry."

"So what? Matt isn't exactly an angel here. You know he's been giving me dirty looks ever since they started seeing each other."

"Now is _not_ the time." I put my foot down firmly. The two of them were my friends, and if I could stop this from escalating tonight, I had to try. The last thing we needed was a fight. "We are here for Josh. I already feel like we're walking on thin ice. Just stay out of his and Emily's way until the weekend's over."

Mike reached his arms up and placed his hands behind his head, calming down. I knew he always meant well. People give him a lot more shit than he deserves. But this time needed to be different. And he knew that. "I'm sorry to put you in the middle of this, Ash."

"Don't apologize, just make sure it doesn't happen again." He nodded. Before he able to respond, his phone buzzed in his pocket. As he pulled it out, the screen lit up his face, which revealed the remnants of his guilt. We had known each other long enough that I knew creases in his forehead only equated to feeling shitty about himself. _Maybe I shouldn't have been so hard on him_.

"It's Josh. He's asking where you are. I came back down the mountain to look for you." Mike explained, sticking his phone into his jacket pocket. "Think we should head up to the house?" He gave a tiny smile and raised his shoulders, hoping to cut the tension.

It did. Mike always knew what to do.

"Let's go." I smiled softly in return, and the two of us headed out of the gazebo and back towards the main pathway, which now featured three extra sets of footprints from before. Someone else must have walked by while I was using the binoculars. Mike offered his hand as I descended the last stair, and we trekked side by side, heading up the mountain and closer to an even more unstable future than I originally accounted for.

I chuckled softly. "Maybe now I can tell you about all my love life woes." Mike laughed heartily.

* * *

 _March 24th, 2013_

 _Very carefully I swirled the lock around to the final combination number and got more excited than I should have when the locker itself actually opened. All of my doodles and post-its littered the inside, where there was space in between all the textbooks and the fun books. It was senior year, and I needed to be focusing on classes, but Abby had just loaned me a new series she had bought, and they were addicting. Any Abby recommendation was always great._

 _I slid around some textbooks in order to make room for the notebooks from class today and emptied out my backpack. Today was an easy day, and I only had a few sketches to finish for art tonight. After slipping the necessary materials into my backpack and marveling at how light it was, I zipped it up and slung it around my shoulder._

 _There was lots of white noise around as everyone else was packing up their stuff for the day, and it was great to feel so at ease amongst the chaos. It made me want to create something._

 _I gripped the locker door, and as I slammed it closed, a face appeared from behind it. "Hey, Ash!" Hannah smiled cheerfully as I ricocheted backwards. My heart was pounding. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to scare you!"_

" _It's alright, Han." I muttered, wrapping an arm around my torso as if trying to physically hold myself together. "I just wasn't expecting it, that's all." Hannah's face softened, and I chuckled, pulling her into a side hug. "No one would ever peg you as the mischief maker."_

 _Hannah laughed, her eyes glimmering. "Oh yeah, I'm the troublemaker." It was funny, I couldn't tell who that comment was directed towards. It could have been any of us, really. Somehow our crew always got into trouble when there were more than three of us together. "Anyway, Ash, any news on the… P-R-O-M front?" She kept her voice low, spelling out the word as if our potential romantic interests were spelling bee losers._

 _I chuckled sadly before admitting, "No." Time was running out, and all of the leftover girls were waiting for someone to make a move. Jess had been making googly eyes at Matt for a few weeks, Josh was bound to take Abby, even if she insisted otherwise, and Emily and Hannah were both looking at Mike, hoping maybe he would actually go with them. Beth was proudly going stag, and I wished I had the guts to do that. Unfortunately, I had my sights on Chris, and he didn't seem any closer to asking me today than any other day._

 _Everyone had known that I liked Chris even before I realized it, and even though all the girls have tried to push him in the right direction, he's always been clueless, and I've always been terrified._

" _It's okay!" Hannah said, smiling reassuringly. "Trust me, Chris is going to come around. He'd be silly not to." She readjusted her glasses, a little quirk that I noticed she did when she was trying to make a point. Suddenly her eyes widened and she nudged her head at an angle over my right shoulder._

 _My heart fluttered in my chest before casually turning around, pretending to scan the crowd for something in particular._ Chris! _He was leaning on another locker a little ways down the hall, casually talking to someone… Her back was turned, but it was easy enough to tell Kathy from the crowd. She was always wearing heels and her blonde hair always perfectly cascaded down her back._

" _Dammit, why is he with Kathy?!" I asked angrily._

" _Don't they have U.S. history together? They're probably just talking about Mr. G and his ridiculous new mustache." Hannah spewed quickly, trying her best to calm me down._

" _It wouldn't be such a problem if she hadn't been looking at him like a lion ready to pounce in the hallway a few days ago. Who could possibly resist her?" I asked, feeling defeated. "Ho-bag." I muttered._

" _Ash, c'mon. She is not. It's okay to be upset. But you're better than that."_

 _After a brief second of considering a better alternative, I strutted over to the two of them, leaving Hannah at my locker, unsure of what to do. "Oh, hi Kathy! Didn't even see you there!" I remarked, and sharply turned my attention to Chris. "What do you say to a ride home? Deb's home, and she and her Jeep are waiting outside!"_

 _Chris seemed a little unsure, vaguely understanding the power struggle going on between me and Kathy. But then he smiled at me, and I knew I won. "Sounds good, Ash." He briefly turned his attention back to Kathy. "Sorry, Kath, but I'll see you in class tomorrow?"_

 _I squealed a little. Grinning, I grabbed his arm and pulled him away from the conversation and towards the school's exit._

* * *

"I still don't understand why Chris hasn't made a move yet." Mike said, shaking his head.

"Don't be too hard on him, who knows if he even likes me." I shrugged my shoulders, deflecting. People had been making these comments for so long that I had begun to doubt that he might have any interest in me. He's had so many opportunities, it was hard to keep faith.

"Are you sure that you want this?" Mike asked quietly. The question seemed so loaded. I had been fawning over Chris for so long. Was all of this going to feel like a letdown? Would he ever even make a move? Did I even want to be with someone whose feelings I couldn't trust?

"ASH!" Sam's voice broke through the deepening silence on the mountains. I squinted through the trees and realized that there was already a small group waiting outside the house. Sam was smiling. It had been so long since I had even seen her.

"Don't think you've escaped for good." Mike chuckled, nudging me softly with his shoulder. Together, we broke through the tree line and approached Sam, Abby and Jess, who looked to be struggling for warmth. Mike grinned his suave grin and wrapped his arms around Jess's waist. Everyone was smiling, seemingly happy to be back together again.

But something just felt very wrong in the pit of my stomach. Was it Chris? Was it Mike and Matt? Or was it something deeper?

 _A/N: Wow, hi guys! I was not expecting to need this much time to update. But I finally finished school this year, and I can write more steadily. Most of this was done in one day. I've really appreciated all your support along the way. Let me know that you're still here! It really is so exhilarating to know that people care. It makes me want to be the best I can, which includes more frequent updates. So let's all hope for the best this summer, and I hope it's been going well for you all so far!_


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